6th
So, I walked over to The Fashion Center at Pentagon City (Pentagram City Mall) and was successful in returning some jeans. To celebrate this victory, I went across the street for some coffee. As I walked up to the barista in Starbucks, she asked a blond woman who was about 10 feet away admiring a coffee maker something like, “ma’am, did you want anything else?” See, this woman and her husband had ordered and left the cashier without paying. So, the woman pokes this dude and says, “babe” and motions towards the register. Now, that D, who looked to be in his fifties (well, they both did), went to his jacket, which he had laid elsewhere in the Starbucks and got out his money clip. Damn, dude, you’re DOPE. Luck at the bling, bro! So, he—being very sexy about it—slipped a $10 out of the clip and give it to the cashier. He did this in such a way that you could hear the bill slide against his other money. It’s hard to describe but this was definitely deliberate. Also, I should mention this guy was wearing really gay looking jeans—the type of embarrassment Nordstrom would charge you a couple hundred for.
After he paid, he just stood there. I just stared at him. Eventually he stepped in front of me so that I could get to where he was and allowed me to pay. In the meantime he was looking at a “Best of Saturday Night Live: ‘06-07” DVD up and down. SNL? Recent SNL? Are you kidding me? Then they left. As I watched them walk away, I thought to myself, “what would Catherine do in a situation like this?” And then it hit me. As soon as I got my coffee, I booked it out the door and snapped the picture above of them heading back to Nordstrom.
My favorite part of all this is that these people were trying way too hard to be 20 years younger. They just didn’t have the common sense and situational awareness left to handle buying a cup of coffee. And fancy jeans doesn’t make up for that; it just draws attention to it. I bet he also drives a 350Z. And I bet his wife is going to be in for a superman tonight.